Standing on my Feet

Thank God for going to church yester. On the way there, I started to tear as I told the Lord "God, I'm here." It was a good time for me - to worship the Lord as who I am.. not as a mother, wife etc. :)

The best part was getting to talk with other Guo Lai Ren mothers. As we talked, thoughts that there was something wrong with me dispelled. I really now realise that what I felt and thought through was very normal!

Today was a breakthough day. Instead of waiting for my darling to come back, I took Babe and Maid to NTUC to buy the week's groceries. Felt so good to be able to do something confidently.

Slowly, by God's grace and love from the family.. I am standing on my feet.

Importance of Family

Of late, I've been keeping closer touch with my Family and realised the importance of it.

For very long, I was this independent and lead my own life person (being very involved in church), now realise that Family support is so important when you go through transitions in life.

Both Spiritual and Physical Family.

This is really the year of Sabbath. God is healing very deep hurts in me.

I need my Family. Am blessed to have them.

Johanna really brings forth healing... at least in my life.

God is working in me. :)

Motherhood and hormones

Was browsing online and realised alot of mothers writing on their hormones and how they felt through the day. How they swing from happy to werewolf state and how they long to be able to be up and running on their life again.

Makes me realised I am normal. Cool. Whatever I'm going through is normal. Phew.

Motherhood- Changes

Clock struck midnight on 8 Sep. Together with my husband, we ensured we took everything, loaded it in the car, and drove to Thomson for Prata. Felt like the "Last Supper" as we ate Prata, Mee Goreng, Teh Halia and Milo Dinosaur.

Then at 1am, we walked into Mount Alvernia Delivery Ward and requested for Baby to be induced, as directed by the Doctor. It has been weeks of prayer and fighting because the water level was dropping, and at every visit, should the water level be low, either Doc will immediately induce baby or hang on another day and pray that baby come naturally. Wanting only a natural delivery, daily, it was a battle to claim God's goodness and be firm. It finally came down to this (2.5 weeks), as I walked into the Delivery Ward.

After going in, the mid-wife checked me, and realised that I was dilated 1cm (You need 10cm to give birth naturally). She then inserted a pill (Process called induction) such that the cervix will ripen to 10cm. Then, it was the wait.

Around 1.30am, I was asked to settle down to sleep in the delivery ward. My darling husband was given an armchair and asked to sleep too. I drifted in and out of sleep, calm and composed. And at around 4am, I finally went into deep sleep. But around 5am, the contractions started. I woke up, cleared my bowels (By then, the pain was so intense Johanna could have been born in the toilet bowl man!) After clearing the bowels, when I struggled to stand and wash my hands, water bag broke and blood showed.

That's when we told the mid-wife who finally checked, and said "Wa! So fast ah! You're into labour already! Call doctor!"

The next thing I know, I asked for epidural (Which the nurses tell me "Too late.. no pain-killers for you, only laughing gas.") Btw, this was what I prayed for.. be careful what you ask for. :) The nurses, with my husband, started to guide me how to breathe and how to position.

My husband was the best. He stood next to me, hold me, told me assuringly that all will be over soon. Whenever I needed the laughing gas, he would hold it for me as I was too feeble to even hold the gas.

Then, like the sound of salvation, the nicest thing was heard "Doctor is here!". Within seconds, Doctor told me to push, and with one single push "Wala!" Johanna is born!

All over in 5 minutes less of 2 hours. Exactly what I prayed.

God be glorified! Johanna was born exactly how we asked of the Lord. He does listen to prayers!

Our Korea Photo Album - Thank God for the Wonderful Rest!

Meaning of Joyce

Found this on a website www.babynamesworld.com

"Though usually used as a feminine name today, Joyce is a traditionally masculine name. It derives from an old Breton name meaning "experienced in battle," but many parents today choose it because it contains the word "joy." "

I'm speechless that my name actually means experience in battle. Makes sense.. humbly in His kingdom :p

A Stronger Tribe, with Hearts Warm

I was only usual way to work, being packed like Sardines on the MRT, when suddenly, the faces of the Youths (Esp the Boy that won the Entertainment Award) came to my mind.

I find myself, smiling and gleeing my way to work.

Last night, I felt a never before openness in my G12 group (Not that last time not open), but really, a deeper connection and deeper transparency. I find that my G12 group has become more closely knitted this year.

Reason? We fought together (praying for one another), sweat together, eat together, sleep together (like real cell-mates), bathe together (for some of us...haha), and definitely, cry together.

We are more aware of each other's weaknesses and strengths, and also, clearer in terms of alignment in values. It's not just me enforcing anymore, it's the entire tribe in one voice.

We are stronger than ever. We've never been this strong. Yet our hearts, evermore warm and connected with each other.

I've never led a group this far, by the grace of the Lord. It's very exciting for me, personally.

It's not over. The best has yet to come. Now, just need to stay humble and focus on consolidating and strengthening the next level.

So Lord, here we go with Your Grace!

Family Camp Photos!

Report for 2007

Pentecost

I got worried recently over some things I overheard in church.

One of them - "I found a better vision in another church" and "church service is all about whether or not I understand what the Pastor is preaching" and "if I do translation througout service, I won't receive from the Sermon"

So.... "I, Me, Myself"

Is church self serving? Or Christ serving?

Let's look at the book of Acts, the first church at the Pentecost. What do we see there?

1. We see an alignment in Vision and Purpose of the Church. (Christ Serving)
2. We see thanksgiving (Always thankful)
3. We see a constant reminder of what Jesus has done on the cross (Breaking bread)
4. We see Kingdom values taught passionately (Devoted to the teaching of word)
5. We see them choosing to be a blessing to others (Sharing whatever in need)

Lord, please come in your fire to discipline and preserve Your truths to those who truly seek you.

Grace

When I was young, my teachers, even friends called me Grace. For some reason, even when I had my ballet exam, the British examiner, though reading my name from the script and also, I wore a name tag with the name "Joyce", she would call me "Grace, could you do a piroutte for me?" And I would know she's calling me and do it. I even had an admin asst write me a memo that reads "Grace, please call xxxxxxxxx".

When I was going for baptism, the Lord strangely, did not lead me to the name Grace, but Hope as in Romans 12:12.

Was wondering the other day, maybe the reason was because, He already reserved the name "Grace" for Vernon and Angelyn's darling daughter.

"Lord, thank you for Grace. Thank you that she will grow up strong in you, knowing You at an early age. Thank you that she will be able to know what is right and wrong, what is pure and destestable, what is noble and what is not, what is pure and what is not, and be able to choose the right path at every big and small junction of her life. Thank you that you will surround her with Godly friends and mentors, such that she will lead her life with great soberness, for You alone. Thank you that she will be a comfort and joy to everyone around her. Bless her Lord, In Jesus Name, Amen."

R&R slides for Shanghai Summer Camp

Here are the R&R photos as we are not allowed to post the camp details!

Sharing - Claiming China for Christ

It was a great time going to China for the Summer Camp. I've frequent China since my student days (Student exchange) as well as work, but for the last 1.5 yrs this was the first time I return to the land of China.

I'm very proud to say that I am super at home in China. From getting cabs, to buying food, to going on the train, bringing people shopping, to dressing for the weather, I feel more at home than Singapore! (And I was tour guide to Yuling, Calyn and Inez for 2 days!)

The camp was a good time, connecting and influencing (hopefully) the China students! I enjoyed the laughter, the discussions on values of BGR, and testifying on how God was a huge part in my marriage to my husband. I miss them very much, they have in their own ways, brought me closer to myself.

Somehow, my spirit changed since going China this time. I'm more sober, at rest, and more joyful!

The time of R&R with the Charlie Angels - Yuling, Calyn and Inez was also great fun! We talked, laughed, did stupid things... and ya... my room mate Yuling, was very great to share alot of laughter with (Hey sorry about the 3am incident..hahaha...) and Calyns' High C-ness... really like go tour package with her... and Inez's "you know I know what no one knows..."

To me, China is now a place of refreshing, a place of testimonies of Christ, a place of fellowshipping. I proclaim that over the land. Thank you Lord for this trip! Bless this nation!

Happenings for 2nd Quarter 2007

Wonder why we were all busy? Here goes:

Identify & Equip Your 12

By: Pastor Claudia Castellanos

A leader’s success or failure is determined by the company they keep, I can testify that this is a fact. Those who form part of a G12 group have the ability to empower or destroy us. Some individuals will never meet their goals in spite of the fact that we invest time in them. When we evaluate how we are doing with our goals we discover that these ones have detained the entire group’s growth,

Although everyone who is under a ministry receives the same teaching, some grow rapidly while others may have numerous arguments against them which impede them from fulfilling their call. Every pastor desires their leaders to be successful, but there are some that grow a rapid rate while others in the group stay stagnate. For this reason you must continually be asking yourself: Do I have a strategy that will ensure that my disciples will be successful? Are my disciples experiencing true growth? Are they helping me carry the ministry load or are they simply spectators?

Henry Ford, the renowned American businessman, once said: “You can take my plants and burn down my buildings. But give me my staff and my business will resume to function in perfect working order.” Church is founded on leadership, church life is dependant on how equipped we are as leaders. If you desire to have a great congregation, if you want to have an ample vision you need many leaders and the pastor must dedicate themselves to that specific goal – that is the key.

Napoleon Bonaparte’s success as a great political leader was due to the fact that he devoted himself to know his men’s needs, he then proceeded to do everything in his power to help them attain what they wanted. This is the reason why his army was faithful to the end. Your primary purpose and great challenge as a leader of a G12 group (the first thing that you must do) is to personally get to know your disciples needs. If they are going through family crisis you must counsel them, if they are dealing with childhood traumas minister inner healing and deliverance to them. If necessary, help them meet their financial needs. Whatever they need, you must be willing and available to help them meet it. The majority of them are in dire need of a word of faith and hope; once they receive that word it becomes the saving grace for their lives. As you are conforming your G12 group it is vital that you be a leader with vision. Everyone that walks into a church has a sleuth of problems, no one is perfect but we are to walk them through the perfecting process which is the main objective in their formation.

When you are forming your team you must do as Michelangelo did. While he was sculpting his masterpiece David (IN SPANISH IT SAYS MOISES WHICH IS INCORRECT) someone asked him how he did it, and his response was: “The sculpture was always in the stone, all I had to do was carve it” He had envisioned and seen more than a mere piece of rock. Something similar is what must occur when the Lord brings those individuals that are to be part of our group, we should not focus on the bitterness, pain, need, lack or the countless problems they have – we must see them through the eyes of faith as the great servants of God that they will one day become that are Holy Spirit filled and will enrich God’s work.

You must also ask the Lord to bring you disciples that have a right spirit and servant’s heart that will be loyal at all times and have a heart than can be molded and that they have integrity.
The night before Jesus chose His twelve disciples, He spent the entire night in prayer, and He then proceeded to integrate them as part of His team. The best way for you to complete your G12 group is by first moving God’s hand in prayer, so that He will be the one to bring them to us and that He also opens our spiritual eyes so that we will be able to identify them. This will enable us to be assured that the time we dedicate to them will be a profitable investment which will produce a great harvest in ministry.

Joyce Hope's Sharing - The Battle with the Flesh

I'm very thankful that God's training method for my ministry is really, using my own life's battles. My own desperate need to be set free, drove me to God.

Growing up in a slightly dysfunctional family (emotionally), I've always been familiar with anger. Situations that I prayed against (I knew God young, and I also knew His will is for me to have a peaceful family filled with His love) kept occuring again and again. I was always the one that was at the brunt of things yet nobody listened to me. I was helpless and the whole situation spinned out of control. I grew angry, and because I wanted the situation to go my way, I was desperate to have something in my hands that I could control the situation with.

I told God "If You don't answer my prayer, I'm going to backslide!" That's when another flesh grew too - Wrath (Punishment, wanting the other person to pay for my anger)

Later on, in another occassion, I told my ex-BF "If you don't get back with me, I'll slash my wrist before your eyes now!" (That explains the 2 scars on the back of my left wrist)

God has since shown me grace, I've learnt to repent and daily, crucify myself and walk in victory in His cross. But of late, this flesh started to come back again. (Clue: Brunt of it is my husband!) All when I began to teach on "The Adversary".

I can emphathise with myself, and say that its my background, family and past that resulted in this flesh more difficult to overcome. I can also give myself excuses that its' cos I'm teaching on this topic, this Flesh enemy is giving me problems to distract me. I think these are reasonable and to much extent, real reasons.

But I've learnt, in battles, no mercy should be shown to the enemy. Sincerity, transparency are all good virtues to show in relationships. (And accountability) But with the enemy? No. Only the truth sets us free. Only crucifying the flesh and appropriating by faith Jesus's work on the cross consistently and daily, gives us continual, moments by moments victory.

There will be some flesh that are so deep, it seems, it's harder to battle. Don't let your knowledge of your past get the better of you. Truth is- It's the truth that will set you free. Jesus commanded us to "Lay down your life, and carry the cross daily" Laying down = Crucifying your flesh. And Carrying the Cross = Claiming the Victory of the Cross. That's all you need to do. After all, everything was already done on the cross. This battle is definitely won!

Joyce Hope's Sharing- Before He can use us Powerfully, He will test us Deeply

It's been an interesting near 2 months, since Senior Pastor, under the Lord's leadership, led the church into a season of "Going Deep". I've been conscious, and faithfully praying for the Lord to renew and teach me, through every situation and every circumstance.

And Lo and Behold, since the beginning of the year, many things have happened. I was hospitalised with scares here and there on my health; I see many imperfections and discouraging things in my own sheep (Just being real here) I found myself discouraged, exhausted, spent.

That drove me to seek the Lord.

In my quite moments with the Lord, I saw this vision. My father eats "Quaker Oatmeal", and they come in tin cans (Like your Nestle Milk) as well as packets, which you can refill into the tin cans. Whenever the time comes for Dad to refill the tin, he'll pour a quarter into the tin can, then shake the tin to let the oats settle, then pour in some more, then shake and hit the tin again. The process repeats till the whole packet goes into the tin- filled to the brim, and compact. Growing up, I've helped Dad fill the tin a couple of times, I've learnt that you need to be "merciless" in shaking and hitting the tin, to let the oats settle, so that you can pour more in. No shake, no oats!

Hebrews 12:26-27

God will shake, whatever that can be shaken, be prepared, He will shake it. Why? Like the Quaker Oats illustration, shaking helps to bring the oats nearer to the base of the tin. Parallel with humans, shaking brings us closer to our foundations - Christ.

I find myself asking this question of late - "Is Christ sufficient for me?" I pray constantly, daily that I can say, with full conviction what Smith Wigglesworth said "I have all, when I have Jesus."

Is God shaking you of late? Have you drawn closer to your foundation? Or are you resisting the shake?

Before He can use us Powerfully, He will test us Deeply!

Series on Going Deep in the Holy Spirit

Hi all,

In this series, let us GO DEEP in the Holy Spirit, as called by Ps Khong. Let's come to seek and know the Holy Spirit, embracing Him and allowing Him to have full reign in our lives, our minds, our finances, our health, our emotions, our relationships as well as our view on God and ourselves.

May I ask of you to follow this prayer, as we allow the Holy Spirit to move in us this season
"Holy Spirit, You are God. You are the answer to every stronghold, every pain, every hurt, every wall that separates me from You, and every wall that separates me and man. You alone are the answer to every strive, and every Flesh in me. I want to walk in the Supernatural, I want to move in Your Power for Your Glory. Move in me Lord. Surface every offense, pride, selfish ambition and cause me to repent and embrace Your truth, so that I can walk free. In Jesus name, Amen."