I keep telling myself I should blog more for personal sake

Must admit that I am someone who is perfectly happy to eat meals alone, go shopping alone, swim alone or jog alone etc. My husband always jokes that since I am someone who needs so much space and personal time, he finds it rather weird that I actually chose marriage.. or that even the fact that I love children and family. Well God makes everyone unique so I guess like my DISC profile - IC, its one of those funny things I gotta live with about myself!


Well ever since I became a Mum in 2008, I do find that personal time and space squeezed to the limit. Not very good actually, because then I find I get easily overwhelmed and tired. But then again, no regrets. It was a learning curve and journey for me - Having gone through so much transitions like moving house, training a maid, taking care of a 85+++ Grandmother-in-law, my daughter of cos too and new work (I changed from Accountant to Part-Time Auditor) and ministry changes too! I know that even though there were times when I just got so "BUNGED UP" God was ever there for me to run to, to go to... and then the light comes or things made sense. Really "ALL THINGS WORKED FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM!"


So here I am, arrived at a certain composure already, and starting to enjoy and really take things easy. Spending more time with myself is also good.. because then I spend more time with the Lord too and more at peace!

I have arrived at many conclusions and peace with certain relationships in my life.. or rather, certain imposed responsibilities. I know.. its' a conviction that took several years - that I have an over-responsibility issue. Having said that, it often goes into "its the right thing to do" then I end up super upset and miserable on how things should be and I should be. I guess as I journey with the Lord, He is the one that has dealt with the innermost motivations of my heart. I am more aware now that if I were to say "No" or to hesistate at something, its not really a selfish issue, but really, a humility to know my limits and constraints and also, God's timing for my life.

That's major maturity and freedom for me. At 31 yrs. LOL...seems late.. but well, God has His timing!

2010, I will end the year with a wonderful new addition to this family - Boy boy Wu. Haven't finalised what to name him. But I know though its a time of transition again.. I have confidence that as long as God is God of my household... we will sail through with greater joy than before. :)

Motivation

Must admit this book I'm reading recently has caused me to search alot on my thought patterns as well as my desires.

Physically rather tired. Could be due to pregnancy, life-stage.. not sure. But not exactly "on" for anything at the moment. And I've been like this for a long time.

I know these are not my own thoughts, but more so, the Holy-Spirit causing a realisation within me.

Waiting, allowing the breaking to take place, so that God can renew me. Afterall, "those who wait upon on the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar like wings on eagles. They will run and not grow weary, walk and not feel faint." Alignment to Christ. Coming. But not through my own strength, but through His renewal.

My 1st year of marriage

Was reading some newly wed friends facebook status and realise that alot of them have great honeymoons period. Was just thinking me and my husband's journey was rather different.

I guess we were both very different, and had come into marriage with different expectations. But I don't really think that's the reason for the many disputes.. I needed... or we both needed to know how to become 1.

Essentially, 2 cannot become 1 but must become 1 through the process of dying to self.

Good thing is, when you die to self and your rights.. wala... abundant life begins! :)We seldom disagree on anything now - from priorities, ministry, family etc.. hehe..

Thank you Lord!

Extreme Thankfulness

Tears fill my eyes when I was just looking through my blog. God has always answered my prayers.

Particularly, the portion about Daughter :)

Seeing my 12 get married the last 2 years was really special and such great privilege for me. Esp Calyn.. seeing her transform, and trust the Lord and finally walking down the aisle was such a great privilege for me.

I want to see more of my 12 get married, Lord. To the right man, Your chosen man for them.

Jo is now 19 going 20 months. Looking at her baby photos are such a milestone... for me! Jo represents overcoming for me. She has taught me to overcome. She has taught me to trust in the Lord. She has taught me to worship the Lord. She... has brought me so much joy.

Thank you Lord. Your ways are higher than mine.

Reflections of King Hezekiah

Been going through the devotionals from our church and getting alot of interesting perspective and thought processes which I believed were inspirations of HS (Holy Spirit).

I loved how today's readings talked about him after restoring God's temple, went around when messages to deliver a decree he issued. Basically, the decree was a hard and tough one that draws the line v v v clear - obey, fear and follow Him.. or else!

God led me to think about prominent election in USA of late. If I suddenly became King/President, what's the first 2 thing I'll do? Visit the middle east or? Diplomatic or Financial policies? I'm not sure what I'll do.. but one thing I learn from King Hezekiah, I must seek the Lord and do the thing He wants me to do. Not be bothered so much by the popularity polls.

That thing, is most prob aligned to the word. To His purposes, to His glory.

Satisfaction as a Mother

Time flies.. I cannot believe it when I tell people my girl is 14 months going 15 months.

It has been extremely exciting seeming Jo grow up so fast! Now, she can say "Da Jiang" (Elephant in Chinese), "Nanana" for Banana and also, "Tar" for Star. She can also go "Tut tut tut" for the song in Sesame Street! (Tut Telly Tut) She recognies shapes, animals,body parts.. etc

Best of all, when she wants something at the gym.. she actually signed "Please" to another boy!

Lord, really thank you for Ben, Glenn, as well as Faith Community. Thank you for people like Jeff, Rachel, Angie, Doreen Wong etc. Without their help and their sharings, I won't have had such an enjoyable journey. I won't have overcome and be where I am.

And really, this IS a FAITH Community!

Simply thankful!

Amazing...Grandma!

It's amazing what living with an elderly does to you.

Grandma has gone through World War, buried her husband due to racial riots, single-handedly raised 6 children and then 2 grandchildren.

It makes you realize what's important in life and what's not.

Nope, when you are old, you are not a burden to society. You are an asset. Grandma is like a pillar and anchor in my life. She teaches me what battles to fight and what to let go. Whenever I am discouraged and down, she's the one who speaks words of truth to me, often, the perspective of the Lord on that situation.

And tomorrow, Grandma is getting baptised at the age of 87! Praise God!

Earlier the night, she just called all her sons and non-believing children to inform them of her decision. Nope, she didn't bother to rationalize nor seek their blessings. She just informed them. Haha! I like her attitude!

And that's the simplicity of life. The right thing to do, when you are obeying God... just inform others will do. You don't need to be wavered by what they say or think.

Lord, thank you for putting Grandma in my life. She is a gift to me. Thank you!