Ever since the flu bug hit my household, I've been having very strenous nights and days for 2 weeks already. I guess it's getting its toil on me.
Emotionally rather frustrated and drained... yet at every junction where you want to "throw in the towel", there's this amazing peace and strength from the Lord to handle things calmly.
But I must admit that today, some of the bottled emotions are stirring in me.. to the extent that I'm getting the gastric reflux again.
Thankful at least, that my husband is with me through this challenging times. Guess I am tempted to be ungrateful and complain and play the blame game.. instead of being at peace that God is in control.
The pursuit of Christian maturity is not as easy as it seem.. but as simple as it is. Just rely on the cross!
Sunday, 11 July 2010
Monday, 28 June 2010
I keep telling myself I should blog more for personal sake
Must admit that I am someone who is perfectly happy to eat meals alone, go shopping alone, swim alone or jog alone etc. My husband always jokes that since I am someone who needs so much space and personal time, he finds it rather weird that I actually chose marriage.. or that even the fact that I love children and family. Well God makes everyone unique so I guess like my DISC profile - IC, its one of those funny things I gotta live with about myself!
Well ever since I became a Mum in 2008, I do find that personal time and space squeezed to the limit. Not very good actually, because then I find I get easily overwhelmed and tired. But then again, no regrets. It was a learning curve and journey for me - Having gone through so much transitions like moving house, training a maid, taking care of a 85+++ Grandmother-in-law, my daughter of cos too and new work (I changed from Accountant to Part-Time Auditor) and ministry changes too! I know that even though there were times when I just got so "BUNGED UP" God was ever there for me to run to, to go to... and then the light comes or things made sense. Really "ALL THINGS WORKED FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM!"
So here I am, arrived at a certain composure already, and starting to enjoy and really take things easy. Spending more time with myself is also good.. because then I spend more time with the Lord too and more at peace!
I have arrived at many conclusions and peace with certain relationships in my life.. or rather, certain imposed responsibilities. I know.. its' a conviction that took several years - that I have an over-responsibility issue. Having said that, it often goes into "its the right thing to do" then I end up super upset and miserable on how things should be and I should be. I guess as I journey with the Lord, He is the one that has dealt with the innermost motivations of my heart. I am more aware now that if I were to say "No" or to hesistate at something, its not really a selfish issue, but really, a humility to know my limits and constraints and also, God's timing for my life.
That's major maturity and freedom for me. At 31 yrs. LOL...seems late.. but well, God has His timing!
2010, I will end the year with a wonderful new addition to this family - Boy boy Wu. Haven't finalised what to name him. But I know though its a time of transition again.. I have confidence that as long as God is God of my household... we will sail through with greater joy than before. :)
Well ever since I became a Mum in 2008, I do find that personal time and space squeezed to the limit. Not very good actually, because then I find I get easily overwhelmed and tired. But then again, no regrets. It was a learning curve and journey for me - Having gone through so much transitions like moving house, training a maid, taking care of a 85+++ Grandmother-in-law, my daughter of cos too and new work (I changed from Accountant to Part-Time Auditor) and ministry changes too! I know that even though there were times when I just got so "BUNGED UP" God was ever there for me to run to, to go to... and then the light comes or things made sense. Really "ALL THINGS WORKED FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM!"
So here I am, arrived at a certain composure already, and starting to enjoy and really take things easy. Spending more time with myself is also good.. because then I spend more time with the Lord too and more at peace!
I have arrived at many conclusions and peace with certain relationships in my life.. or rather, certain imposed responsibilities. I know.. its' a conviction that took several years - that I have an over-responsibility issue. Having said that, it often goes into "its the right thing to do" then I end up super upset and miserable on how things should be and I should be. I guess as I journey with the Lord, He is the one that has dealt with the innermost motivations of my heart. I am more aware now that if I were to say "No" or to hesistate at something, its not really a selfish issue, but really, a humility to know my limits and constraints and also, God's timing for my life.
That's major maturity and freedom for me. At 31 yrs. LOL...seems late.. but well, God has His timing!
2010, I will end the year with a wonderful new addition to this family - Boy boy Wu. Haven't finalised what to name him. But I know though its a time of transition again.. I have confidence that as long as God is God of my household... we will sail through with greater joy than before. :)
Tuesday, 8 June 2010
Motivation
Must admit this book I'm reading recently has caused me to search alot on my thought patterns as well as my desires.
Physically rather tired. Could be due to pregnancy, life-stage.. not sure. But not exactly "on" for anything at the moment. And I've been like this for a long time.
I know these are not my own thoughts, but more so, the Holy-Spirit causing a realisation within me.
Waiting, allowing the breaking to take place, so that God can renew me. Afterall, "those who wait upon on the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar like wings on eagles. They will run and not grow weary, walk and not feel faint." Alignment to Christ. Coming. But not through my own strength, but through His renewal.
Physically rather tired. Could be due to pregnancy, life-stage.. not sure. But not exactly "on" for anything at the moment. And I've been like this for a long time.
I know these are not my own thoughts, but more so, the Holy-Spirit causing a realisation within me.
Waiting, allowing the breaking to take place, so that God can renew me. Afterall, "those who wait upon on the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar like wings on eagles. They will run and not grow weary, walk and not feel faint." Alignment to Christ. Coming. But not through my own strength, but through His renewal.
Monday, 17 May 2010
My 1st year of marriage
Was reading some newly wed friends facebook status and realise that alot of them have great honeymoons period. Was just thinking me and my husband's journey was rather different.
I guess we were both very different, and had come into marriage with different expectations. But I don't really think that's the reason for the many disputes.. I needed... or we both needed to know how to become 1.
Essentially, 2 cannot become 1 but must become 1 through the process of dying to self.
Good thing is, when you die to self and your rights.. wala... abundant life begins! :)We seldom disagree on anything now - from priorities, ministry, family etc.. hehe..
Thank you Lord!
I guess we were both very different, and had come into marriage with different expectations. But I don't really think that's the reason for the many disputes.. I needed... or we both needed to know how to become 1.
Essentially, 2 cannot become 1 but must become 1 through the process of dying to self.
Good thing is, when you die to self and your rights.. wala... abundant life begins! :)We seldom disagree on anything now - from priorities, ministry, family etc.. hehe..
Thank you Lord!
Sunday, 25 April 2010
Extreme Thankfulness
Tears fill my eyes when I was just looking through my blog. God has always answered my prayers.
Particularly, the portion about Daughter :)
Seeing my 12 get married the last 2 years was really special and such great privilege for me. Esp Calyn.. seeing her transform, and trust the Lord and finally walking down the aisle was such a great privilege for me.
I want to see more of my 12 get married, Lord. To the right man, Your chosen man for them.
Jo is now 19 going 20 months. Looking at her baby photos are such a milestone... for me! Jo represents overcoming for me. She has taught me to overcome. She has taught me to trust in the Lord. She has taught me to worship the Lord. She... has brought me so much joy.
Thank you Lord. Your ways are higher than mine.
Particularly, the portion about Daughter :)
Seeing my 12 get married the last 2 years was really special and such great privilege for me. Esp Calyn.. seeing her transform, and trust the Lord and finally walking down the aisle was such a great privilege for me.
I want to see more of my 12 get married, Lord. To the right man, Your chosen man for them.
Jo is now 19 going 20 months. Looking at her baby photos are such a milestone... for me! Jo represents overcoming for me. She has taught me to overcome. She has taught me to trust in the Lord. She has taught me to worship the Lord. She... has brought me so much joy.
Thank you Lord. Your ways are higher than mine.
Monday, 14 December 2009
Reflections of King Hezekiah
Been going through the devotionals from our church and getting alot of interesting perspective and thought processes which I believed were inspirations of HS (Holy Spirit).
I loved how today's readings talked about him after restoring God's temple, went around when messages to deliver a decree he issued. Basically, the decree was a hard and tough one that draws the line v v v clear - obey, fear and follow Him.. or else!
God led me to think about prominent election in USA of late. If I suddenly became King/President, what's the first 2 thing I'll do? Visit the middle east or? Diplomatic or Financial policies? I'm not sure what I'll do.. but one thing I learn from King Hezekiah, I must seek the Lord and do the thing He wants me to do. Not be bothered so much by the popularity polls.
That thing, is most prob aligned to the word. To His purposes, to His glory.
I loved how today's readings talked about him after restoring God's temple, went around when messages to deliver a decree he issued. Basically, the decree was a hard and tough one that draws the line v v v clear - obey, fear and follow Him.. or else!
God led me to think about prominent election in USA of late. If I suddenly became King/President, what's the first 2 thing I'll do? Visit the middle east or? Diplomatic or Financial policies? I'm not sure what I'll do.. but one thing I learn from King Hezekiah, I must seek the Lord and do the thing He wants me to do. Not be bothered so much by the popularity polls.
That thing, is most prob aligned to the word. To His purposes, to His glory.
Sunday, 22 November 2009
Satisfaction as a Mother
Time flies.. I cannot believe it when I tell people my girl is 14 months going 15 months.
It has been extremely exciting seeming Jo grow up so fast! Now, she can say "Da Jiang" (Elephant in Chinese), "Nanana" for Banana and also, "Tar" for Star. She can also go "Tut tut tut" for the song in Sesame Street! (Tut Telly Tut) She recognies shapes, animals,body parts.. etc
Best of all, when she wants something at the gym.. she actually signed "Please" to another boy!
Lord, really thank you for Ben, Glenn, as well as Faith Community. Thank you for people like Jeff, Rachel, Angie, Doreen Wong etc. Without their help and their sharings, I won't have had such an enjoyable journey. I won't have overcome and be where I am.
And really, this IS a FAITH Community!
Simply thankful!
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