Reflections of King Hezekiah

Been going through the devotionals from our church and getting alot of interesting perspective and thought processes which I believed were inspirations of HS (Holy Spirit).

I loved how today's readings talked about him after restoring God's temple, went around when messages to deliver a decree he issued. Basically, the decree was a hard and tough one that draws the line v v v clear - obey, fear and follow Him.. or else!

God led me to think about prominent election in USA of late. If I suddenly became King/President, what's the first 2 thing I'll do? Visit the middle east or? Diplomatic or Financial policies? I'm not sure what I'll do.. but one thing I learn from King Hezekiah, I must seek the Lord and do the thing He wants me to do. Not be bothered so much by the popularity polls.

That thing, is most prob aligned to the word. To His purposes, to His glory.

Satisfaction as a Mother

Time flies.. I cannot believe it when I tell people my girl is 14 months going 15 months.

It has been extremely exciting seeming Jo grow up so fast! Now, she can say "Da Jiang" (Elephant in Chinese), "Nanana" for Banana and also, "Tar" for Star. She can also go "Tut tut tut" for the song in Sesame Street! (Tut Telly Tut) She recognies shapes, animals,body parts.. etc

Best of all, when she wants something at the gym.. she actually signed "Please" to another boy!

Lord, really thank you for Ben, Glenn, as well as Faith Community. Thank you for people like Jeff, Rachel, Angie, Doreen Wong etc. Without their help and their sharings, I won't have had such an enjoyable journey. I won't have overcome and be where I am.

And really, this IS a FAITH Community!

Simply thankful!

Amazing...Grandma!

It's amazing what living with an elderly does to you.

Grandma has gone through World War, buried her husband due to racial riots, single-handedly raised 6 children and then 2 grandchildren.

It makes you realize what's important in life and what's not.

Nope, when you are old, you are not a burden to society. You are an asset. Grandma is like a pillar and anchor in my life. She teaches me what battles to fight and what to let go. Whenever I am discouraged and down, she's the one who speaks words of truth to me, often, the perspective of the Lord on that situation.

And tomorrow, Grandma is getting baptised at the age of 87! Praise God!

Earlier the night, she just called all her sons and non-believing children to inform them of her decision. Nope, she didn't bother to rationalize nor seek their blessings. She just informed them. Haha! I like her attitude!

And that's the simplicity of life. The right thing to do, when you are obeying God... just inform others will do. You don't need to be wavered by what they say or think.

Lord, thank you for putting Grandma in my life. She is a gift to me. Thank you!

It's been a year of Parenting w my Best Pal!

I've always known my husband's existence being in church so many years, but never really knew him personally. When I was finally intro to him after an outreach event on Dec 2003, I never expected to date him then and later, marry him in Nov 2006. Shortly after 2 becoming 1, we became parents of Jo in Sep 2008 and started this parenting journey.

The entire journey has been filled with ups and downs. At times, it was so bleak I honestly wondered if light was at the end of the tunnel. But thanks to the Lord, as we prayed and continue to be transparent and learn to accept each other, we emerge more together, more 1.. and more love.

I'm thankful to this great partner, who always steers me on the right course and to do what pleases the Lord. He's indeed my leader, my mentor, my teacher, my best friend and my best partner! :)

Thanks dear, for being such a great husband and father! You've been fantastic!

Johanna called me "Mama"

I cannot describe it.. it just happened. When feeding half way 2 weeks ago, she started calling me Mama.

And now whenever she wants me to pick her up, she'll call "mamamamamama" non-stop and do her "say please" sign.

And yesterday, Jo suddenly knows where is her head. When I sang the song "Head and shoulders, knees and toes" she suddenly pointed to her head. When I asked her to show me where her head was, she again pointed correctly.

And there was 3 weeks ago, when she suddenly held my hands and started walking. She nows understand "hold hands" and "walk walk walk in the light". I sing songs to her for both activity.

And there's the Carebear. I bought her a stuffed toy bear and began teaching her "Bao bao" = hug hug, "Pat pat" = sayang, "Kiss kiss" bear bear. All she can do now to the bear, and to people whom she's comfortable with.

There is tremendous satisfaction in her achieving all the above. All of them took time to be taught. I get so much satisfaction and affirmation whenever Jo picks up one new positive behaviour.

I get an amazing look on hubby's face too, when he goes - "huh, you taught her that?
" Hee.. one of the cheeky things I taught her was belly button. My daughter now knows where it is. When you ask her to show you where Daddy's belly button is, she crawls over, lift up his shirt and place her little finger into the hole.. all to tickle daddy!

I think God is like that too. He must be so satisfied and proud whenever we pick up a new trait that is His character... or values that He upholds.

Though the start was slippery, I'm really thankful for this parenting journey. I enjoy the process of teaching Jo new things. Hehehe... and amazing my all supportive and great husband.

Not sure what to feel and think... but just have to look up

Pastor Eugene was sharing this verse in Jeremiah 17 on God testing the heart and searching the mind. How true.

It's good to just pause and know that God's testing and searching through our thoughts and reactions. At the end of the day, it is God we answer to. So no matter what happens and what is going to happen, we need to just hang in there, and hang on God in:

1. Purity (In thoughts and action. Never think of retaliating)
2. Presence (In His provision. God IS IN control!)
3. Power (Power to Love.. choose to Love at all times)

3Ps - People, Programme, Place
&
Purity, Presence, Power!

I rest in You Lord. Let me rest in You alone.

Thankful- Grandma's salvation

Many relatives thank me for allowing Grandma into my house. In reality, I am the one that is blessed.

From Grandma giving me reassurance whenever I need it, to her recent SALVATION,and her simple faith... I am thankful.

God, thank you that in the darkest time, when I had to make a decision of moving Grandma in, and I was still suffering from panick attacks after childbirth, thank you that you helped me yield to you.

Happy Mother's Day to Me!

Was pleasantly surprised when I return from work yesterday, to find this on my study table. It's my mother's day present from my husband, on behalf of Jo. It was blasting the song "Though I walk through valleys low, I'll fear no evil.. like the waters still my soul, my heart will trust in You.."

Together with the gift, was a card from both my husband and daughter - My husband wrote "Dear, this gift is for you to worship God in the room. Trust in God, He is with us.. and so we can worship God together as the Wus".

My daughter wrote (actually it's my husband who wrote for her) "Happy Mother's day, I love you! Thanks for feeding me, cleaning me, disciplining me, hugging me, kissing me, petting me, sayanging me... i couldn't have asked for a greater mama than you. I am proud of you. You are the best Mama in the world."

I was so touched I broke down and cried.

I think only God truly knew how much I struggled in this journey, and how much grace He gave for me to overcome and walk this far. I have never been as humbled and weak in all my journeys. Indeed, there's no way except to trust Him.

And really, thank God for my husband! Thank God I married the man God chose for me! I'm very blessed! :)

Parenting

Been teaching Jo how to "Pass Motion" on the great white throne, drink from a straw, as well as boundary training. Saw a little progress with the throne and the straw.. but not too much success with Boundaries.

It is... draining sometimes to have to repeat myself again and again. "No, darling, stay inside."; "No, Jo, obey Mama. Stay inside."; "No, darling, you cannot go outside, stay inside." Like a broken recorder sometimes!

But to me.. this is a necessary evil. The end in mind is not the boundary. I don't really bother as much on safety as well. Some parts of me do want Jo to be well-trained so that people can affirm how good a Mum I am. But whenever God shows me that I am hungering after external applause, I pause, repent and ask the Lord to set my heart right.

So what's the reason for hampering over boundaries? Well, I believe the role of parenting, or rather my job in Jo's life, is to train her for Service to the Lord.

And in order for the Lord to use her - she needs to learn to obey.

Hence, the end in mind is not the boundary.. nor the safety. The end in mind.. is she learn obedience. Obedient to authorities.

Many men/ women in the bible had great talent.. but they did not pass the obedience Character test, took things into their own hands.. and downfall came.

Joyce, hang-in there. If it takes as long, it'll take as long. She needs to learn this, Jo's heart needs to learn to yield to God. It'll come. She'll learn. And God's grace will be there.

The subject of influence.

The recent failed take-over of an NPO here and some personal events sparked me to think on the subject of influence.

When we come against Puralism and take a stand on certain issues of a certain values, the end result is definitely polarising.

But what's wrong with polarising? Bad cos at the end of the day, you reach nowhere with the group of people who disagree with you. On the contrary, you drive them further from the place you wanted to bring them towards - your values.

But if making a stand is not the way to go then.. what is?

I think maybe the answer is to offer a Biblical perspective in a wholistic manner, not just pertaining to the issue at hand, or the disagreement. Then let the people see the Glory of the Father and decide.

I need to grow. I need to learn how to effect change in communities/ people that I would like to see transformation in.

Grow Joyce, Grow.

Disciplining Johanna

Surprised that one day short of 6 months. I've had to discipline my darling daughter.

She refused to drink water after a feed, and went into a tantrum. After much coaxing, she still continued her ways. I had to talk to her, then place her in her playpen to isolate her for 5 mins, while she whined and cried away. After 5 mins, I picked her up, cuddle her, told her I loved her, kissed her, yet insisted lovingly that she needs to finish her water, because it was good for her.

The same process repeated, again and again.. for a full 1.5 hours.

Did she drink water in the end? Only half of what I targeted her to finish. I decided that it was going nowhere, and since she already finished 2 ounce, I moved on to her nap time, and let her face the consequence... of thirst till the next feed.

Honestly, she wasn't that thirsty.. so there's not much consequence to face.

I think as a mother 1st time disciplining her, I did very well. No time did I lose patience or control. I was calm, collected and very insistent and firm. I assured her of my love, gave careful instructions on what I want her to do, and told her firmly of the consequence.

The entire process left deep deep thoughts in me though.

1. Johanna's personality/gift.
Every since we brought her home from hospital, in the very first week, my confinement lady (Aunt) commented that she's very strong physically. She was able to lift up her head at age week 2 and sat up at 4 months. Barely 6 months, Jo was crawling. Everyone who's every carried her says "Hey, what did you eat or feed your daughter? She's very strong".

I also remember bringing her to PD for vaccines. PD calls her the "No fuss baby" because Jo only whines once for every jab. Even those that are supposedly super painful she only whines once and then that's it. No more tears. PD likes her and says she's very steady babe.

As her mother, I agree my daughter is strong. But as the one praying and seeking the Lord daily, I sense God showing me not only is she strong physically, she's also strong in her personality. Yes, Jo is very no fuss and very steady. She's not afraid of trying new things and pain. Yet, when she doesn't want something, she's very strong and insistent as well.

I ended the day praying and asking the Lord to teach me how to handle and grow my daughter. I believe strength is a gift from God... but strong people.. well can go either ways. If turned for the Lord, it will be use as an attribute to stand up for God in His kingdom.

2. The Father's heart.
Well.. who else does Jo take after? The mother lah!

Yes, I am strong. I recalled my ex leader ever said, when I was 18 that I was a wild horse. Yes, this wild horse took many hard knocks that messed up her life that she learn to yield and surrender to the Lord.

When I disciplined Jo today, I really felt what Abba Father must have felt in the years when He was disciplining me. How it must have broken His heart when I was so insistent what I wanted. How He kept assuring me of His love and what was best for me.. and how I didn't want to listen...

What really struck me was... you know how I always thought I paid the price when I didn't obey the Lord? Today, I truly realised God paid the price with me.

Just like how my arms are aching now after holding and feeding Jo non-stop for 1.5 hours through all the tussle.. the heartaches... it's not just Jo that paid the consequence.. I did too.

I ended the day too, thanking Jo for being part of my life.. and teaching me so many things. God, your ways are higher than my ways. I surrender. Teach me and help me Lord, to grow my daughter... and in the process grow myself.. that we'll all be like you. :)

I'm finally 30!

You know you've always wanted to be 10 when you were 8 or 9... and always wanted to be 20 when you were in your teens. Things changed when you hit 30.

It's like a mark of something... a milestone of some sort. You will start to look and count your "achievements".

I did ponder on my "achievements".. or rather, God's blessings. I thank God that at age 30:

1. I am still serving Him. I count 12 years of following Christ through FC. 12 years of growing as the Almighty's daughter.
2. I am the loved and blessed wife of my husband.
3. I am the mother of my darling - Jojo.

And indeed.. praise Him!

The day was celebrated taking photos of Jo...and a chilli crab dinner w my husband by the beach! Yummy! And love from my beloved Abba Father!